The number one question I am asked since living abroad is “Which country do you prefer? USA or Belgium?” And my answer is always the same, “I like them for different reasons.” Political answers that show respect for both parties is a key social skill you pick up when growing up in the South…and I mastered the art.

But not having an opinion is one of the key things Belgians do not tolerate; I learned this quickly. This, amongst other typical American traits, I would learn to change in order to survive.

1.Make a plan

When I made my first friends in Gent, I got so excited and expected the flow of friendship to happen as it did in Kentucky. Hell no! Everyone in Belgium has an insane social calendar that gets booked weeks in advance. I was used to everyone hangs out with everyone; there is one giant friend circle and you just co-mingle all the time. Belgians? Umm no chance. They have their school friends, work friends, party friends, shopping friends, watch movie friends, dining friends…and don’t even think about mixing them! I remember one evening I was walking my dog and happened to walk past a friend’s house. Now, in the South, I wouldn’t think twice before calling up a friend (or even showing up) to say “Hey! I’m in the neighborhood, let’s hang” with only a few minutes warning. So I tried it. I walked right up to the house and rang the bell with all the confidence in the world. She came to the door with such a confused face like who in the hell was this person standing in front of her. Well, she was having a dinner party with one of her fabulous circle of friends. Politely, she told me we could make a date tomorrow to meet up. It took me a long time to get over the fact that people don’t want to hang out with me every chance they get; no, I am not full of myself but it is not the typical Southern hospitality I was used to. Now that I am acclimated, I love the making a plan routine. Your friends have your undivided attention and no fear of someone feeling left out.

2.  Being a Hostess is an art

The time has come for you to host your first dinner party. You’ve planned it out based on your cooking strengths and you’re ready to show your new friends what an American can do in the kitchen.  The thing is, we don’t typically plan dinner parties in the South unless it’s Friendsgiving or well, that’s about it. Our idea of hanging out is going to the local bar to fill up on an assortment of fried foods in the meat and cheese variety and beer.

What did I do? Taco bar. But I thought I killed the taco bar– I had the shells and the meat and the toppings all laid out in separate containers for friends to self serve and casually mingle in the house. I kept the booze flowing, maybe a little too much, and sent them on their way in less than three hours. Success, right?

Well, they invited me over the next weekend for brunch to show me how it ‘s really done. Holy moly was I schooled. Pate, fresh fruit, fresh juice, fancy salmon on even fancier toast, little baby shrimps, cocktails and the most beautiful display of meat and cheese I have ever seen. And they made it look so effortless! Course after course of amazing food, conversation and drink that made the day go on for six to seven hours. They started the day at 11 and we left drunk and full at 8pm. Needless to say, I am not a Master Hostess to Belgium standards, but I have stepped up my game.

3. Take a Holiday

We love to work in America. Ok, maybe not “love” but it is ingrained in our way of life to never stop working. When my job became super demanding that I was working from 8AM until 11pm just to keep up with business in Europe and in the states, my friends stepped in. The majority of Belgians have 9-5 jobs or jobs that allow them to work in their passion. They get their afternoons and evenings to enjoy family, friends or just enjoy some alone time to recharge. In addition, Belgians are granted something like 25 vacation days a year. 25 days!! Compare that to the measly 10 days Americans get but often don’t take and you’ll understand why holidays are an intricate part of their yearly schedule.

This might be the most life altering habit I changed since moving to Belgium as I have learned to shut down on work to take some days for myself.

4. Get a Hobby

You know that feeling when you’re at summer camp and you’re in arts and crafts class and everyone around you is making super sculptures out of dried macaroni and you’re sitting over in the corner trying to get the glue off your hands? Try living that life every day around your fabulous, younger than you new friends.

Everyone in Belgium is so damn arty and sophisticated that I felt like I would never belong. You either know how to cook; you are into pottery or plants; yoga or some other badass exercise; tennis or cycling (oh lawd that’s another article: obsession with biking). What could I do when I arrived? Taco bar. Oh, and I could walk the shit out of my little 8 pound dog…

What can I do now? Oh, shut up…

5. Dating

If you plan on moving to Belgium and take one thing away from this article, let it be this. Do not accept a date with someone unless you plan on a life together. You think I am joking. Belgians do not casually date.  In college, it was so typical to have a date with one guy on Friday night, see a different one for a movie on Saturday then not speak to either of them for a week. It was how our parents taught us to date around to find the right guy to be with long term. In Belgium? You accept one date with a guy and it’s until death do you part. Luckily, the first guy I had a date with ended up to be great and we had a great time together. But it took him pointing out that we were a couple before I realized how awful the situation could have become.

So, there you have it. Five from a very long list of things this amazing country taught me. But, no matter how hard they try, they will never take away the Taco Bar 🙂